What If I Still Want to Lose Weight
This is one of the most common questions I hear from people who are tired of dieting, ready to heal their relationship with food—but still feel that tug toward weight loss.
Maybe you’ve started exploring intuitive eating. Maybe you’ve thrown out the scale. Maybe you want to be done chasing diets, but still—there’s that quiet hope, or loud desire, that some weight loss might happen along the way.
If this is you, I want to say this clearly:
You are not wrong. You are not broken. You are not failing.
You are a human being in a world that’s constantly telling us thinner is better, healthier, more lovable, more worthy. Of course the idea of weight loss still feels important. Of course it’s complicated.
Let’s unpack it: What does it mean when I still want to lose weight?
The desire to lose weight often isn’t just about a number on the scale. It can represent something deeper:
Wanting to feel accepted in your body
Wanting to avoid medical stigma or bullying
Wanting to feel more comfortable or at home in your skin
Wanting to regain control in a world that feels chaotic
And sometimes—it is about discomfort in your body, or remembering a time when moving through the world felt easier.
These feelings make sense. And they’re allowed to be here.
Holding space for weight loss thoughts without letting them take over
What if, instead of trying to get rid of the desire to lose weight, we got curious about it?
Try asking yourself:
What do I think weight loss will give me?
Are there parts of that experience I could access in other ways?
Can I move toward care instead of control?
This shift—from focusing on shrinking your body to caring for your body—isn’t always easy. But it’s powerful.
Sometimes:
it looks like moving your body in a way that feels joyful or soothing, instead of as punishment.
it’s about setting boundaries around triggering conversations or medical appointments.
it might be giving yourself full permission to eat—yes, even if part of you still believes eating less would “work.”
You don’t have to feel 100% at peace to begin healing.
We can move forward with compassion even when we carry mixed feelings. You can honor your hope for weight loss while choosing not to chase it in harmful ways. You can hold both the desire and the deeper healing you're working toward.
There’s no such thing as doing this perfectly. There’s only being present with what’s real—and choosing care, again and again.
Try this reflection
Set a timer for 5 minutes and explore one or more of these prompts:
What would it feel like to care for my body as it is right now?
What am I really hoping for when I imagine losing weight?
Are there ways I can show up for those needs or feelings—without focusing on shrinking my body?
You don’t need to arrive at a perfect answer. Just notice what comes up.
You deserve care and respect now. Not once your body changes. Not when you “fix” your eating.
Now. Exactly as you are.
And if weight loss thoughts are still there, you’re not doing it wrong. Let’s explore them together—with kindness, curiosity, and support.
